Again....

...it begins.

Carry on

I'm starting to discover that one of the hardest things about maintaining a positive outlook on things is keeping a check on reality. I don't mean it's hard to stay clear on what is and what is not real. Rather that, when you're trying to keep to a goal or stay along a certain path, it's very easy to start thinking in a way which will end up with negative results and feelings. It's something which usually happens without you even noticing.

I'll explain.

I'm trying an experiment: an experiment in positive thinking. It's easy to become negative about so many of the simplest things in everyday life. It's something we do so unconsciously that, if someone were to suggest we're doing it, we'd probably completely deny it, or admit they have a point, and then carry on the same after without thinking about the consequences of this way of thinking. We talk ourselves out of a lot of things in life, because we're too short-sighted to see the thing we want is totally accessible, given a little hard work and forward thinking.

This is what has happened since my last entry.

I finished my time at the Studios in Ouarzazate, something which itself was a huge challenge. There are some elements in a process or mechanism (life) which are uncontrollable. These things you just have to take in your stride and not let them get to you. Keep them fully in your thoughts when dealing with them, and keep a positive mental attitude around them. You will benefit from the effort you put in, and they will most likely remain unchanged until they die. Once you accept certain things are the way they are, it makes them easy to deal with, and leaves you to focus on more important elements. I'm referring to one particular person on the film I am working on who just seems to go out of their way to make things difficult for others. That is a personality trait which I simply cannot fathom, and goes entirely goes against my way of thinking and living. I don't allow myself to become angry about this behaviour anymore, although I can find myself becoming exasperated when I encounter it, which unfortunately is all too common for the human race.

Anyway, I apologise this entry is becoming a little disjointed. It doesn't make much sense when I think back on it, but I shall continue and try to keep a more narrative feel. My friends will all attest I'm not the world's best storyteller.

My goal until the summer is to write a horror film. My goal is to assemble a group of talented and passionate people to create a piece of work we can all sit back and feel proud of, and use to showcase our talents and specific interests. I am keen to make a zombie film. It is a genre where anything goes, and I intend to exploit that as far as we can without it becoming farcical or ridiculous. I realise this is a strange limit to set when working with the undead as a subject matter, but it's important we have something to show which will show off our talents in a credible light.

I originally set myself the goal of having the film written, cast and crew assembled and the money in place ready to begin shooting on the first day of summer. I soon realised this was unrealistic, especially so now as I have just taken on a full time job until June. This is one of the areas where it can be hard to keep a hold on reality. In one moment I'm thinking 'That's no problem at all', but the next I realise perhaps it's not such a realistic plan. Now at this point, it is important to slow down a little, and not jump into the negative end of thinking. Normally at this stage of things I start to think negatively about the whole thing, and usually talk myself out of whatever it is I want to do. This time however I have simply slowed down and had a little look around at the other options available instead. So instead of simply saying 'Oh….well that's that f_cked then.' and thinking about something else to not complete, I just adjusted my plans to fit my circumstances. This might seem obvious to many (ha) of you reading this now, but I dare to suggest you have done the same thing of just giving up more than once in your life. I don't know why I do it, but thinking positively about all aspects of my life has begun to change the way I do things. It has given me new confidence in myself and in others around me, and I am finally starting to believe in myself and what I am capable of.

One major thing that my new positivism has brought into my life is focus. A lack of focus is something which has cursed me for my whole life. I don't like to think I'm limiting my options, so I don't commit to anything whole-heartedly, but this has the complete opposite effect. It's why I'm now a month away from being 30 without any real career to show for it, when having a career is something I've always wanted. I know at this point some people will be saying 'But you hate that idea', and to some extent they're right, I do. I want it all. I want a skilled career so I can enjoy the fun things I like to do, but at the same time, I only want to do the fun things which would result in me not having a career, skilled or otherwise. Up until this point in my life I really thought I couldn't win. I thought I would never find the spark inside me which would finally ignite my afterburners and get me on the road to what I really want – personal success. Personal success is what I want. I already have it in certain amounts in my life, but those things are not the product of a long thought out process or endeavour. I have drifted through my life, picking up some great gifts along the way, but only finding out now I have the power myself to make things happen the way I truly want them to. Focus will allow me to do this, and it's the most important thing I think I've discovered in myself for a long time. Why, I've been sat here for well over an hour now just writing about it….not something I would have even thought of doing a month ago.

So, there a few other things I need to turn my attention to before I start writing in earnest but this is not to say I've given up already. I will write the film, and I will assemble a crew to make it, and there will be blood, but first things first. I have a lot of work to do, and I'm prioritising, managing my focus to keep it clear and effective and doing what I want it to do. Focus can come in waves, and it's easy for me to get carried away with the thought tide.

I want to thank _futurism for his help in convincing me to try something new out; his intimate knowledge of my open-minded scepticism has served us well many times before, and I think this time he's hit the jackpot.

+ive

I have a packed lunch in my spotted handkerchief tied to the end of a stick.
I have a happy song playing in my head.
I have my eyes wide open and I'm taking everything in.
I have great friends.
I have a loving family.

I have nothing to complain about in my life.

I've spent the last 3 months working in Morocco as a buyer/coordinator for the special effects department on a Ridley Scott film, starring Russell Crowe and Leonardo DiCaprio. Getting paid good money, living in nice hotels, eating good food, going out, blowing things up, having helicopter rides... my life is good.

500 metres from the workshop I was based in was one of the many shanty towns in Morocco, where people live in huts made of found materials. Roofs made out corrugated tin, held in place by rocks. Walls made of corrugated tin or pieces of scrap wood, with plastic sheeting to keep the draft and rain out. In the streets around the shanty town, kids play with sticks, cycle tyres, torment the stray dogs, or see how far they can get on the back of the Land Rover as we drive through... my life is good.

When I get back, I may be going straight onto working on a Mark Romanek film, starring Benicio del Toro and Anthony Hopkins. It runs for about four and a half months, and would sort out all my money 'troubles' in one go. This film has helped, but given the amount of debt I have, it's really just put me a little closer to breaking even. If the next film happens, touch wood, I'll be in a good financial position. A position I haven't really ever been in before for any length of time.... my life is good!


So, people who are reading this who know me will be thinking....'What the hell is he on? Why all the 'life is good' banter?'. Two words for you - The Secret.

I think people who have heard of The Secret will most likely fall into one of three quite distinct and strong perspectives. There will be those who hate it, perhaps not even making it to the end of the book or video. Then there will be those who love everything about it, taking it in and reeling from the impact it has on them. And then there will be those who watch it...think about it.....then see through the drama, the laboured enthusiasm, the overflowing 'can do' attitude of it, and see that, at it's core, The Secret is really a fantastic premise.

I certainly fell into that last category of people. Having already discussed it briefly with the person who sent me the video, I'd already formed negative emotions against it. I have to admit, I nearly pressed stop about 10 minutes into it. The video production plays out like a 90 minute treacle tart strapped to the front of an articulated truck doing 100. It is heavily sentimental, smothered in feel-good propaganda, topped off with a liberal helping of very dubious scientific rhetoric..

At the end....I felt inspired by it. I know all the devices they used were there to make me feel just that way, but after thinking about it, talking about it to other sceptics and friends, I began to see through to the true meaning of The Secret as I understood it, and to really think about how I could use what The Secret offers.

If you want something, there's not really any reason you shouldn't have it. Is there? No. It may take a while to get it, but think like Guinness and you'll get what you want.

I won't go into it too much now, because you should just watch the video or read the book yourself. I'm not even going to link you to it. Go find it; watch it; take it in. Once you've watched it, message me and we'll discuss.

For now, I'm actively taking on the way of thinking that The Secret suggests. Think positive and positive things will happen. It's obvious....so, so obvious. Why do we constantly talk ourselves out of the things we want for ourselves? Anyway, I'm not going into it now!

Tonight I was supposed to be writing an outline for a film I'm making, but I hope the friend who will be reading this thinking 'Ok, this is good...where's the film pitch?' will forgive me. I've spent the night chatting to friends and co-workers. In the spare time I got, I've been writing this. This is important for me. It has helped to clarify what The Secret means to me. This new year will really be a new year, in that I'll be going into it with a positively charged attitude, which I can already feel is doing me endless good. Usually I go into a new year feeling very much the same as most other years. This year will be different.

My present goal is to have the opening to my film, which will be a proof of concept for potential investors or collaborators, written and to be in the early stages of shooting by summer. (I will have actually written the whole script by this point.) That means all elements will have been planned and given the green light to start shooting in summer, and preparations for filming to begin will have started in earnest. Once I start to develop the ideas and script, I'll go into more detail here. The film itself is really an opportunity for many of my friends and coworkers to show off their abilities. The genre of film lends itself very well to an 'anything goes' kind of project, where people can get carried away and really go to town. Watch this space. I've already started thinking about the film a lot more now, and although it's going to be a very busy 4 weeks for me from now on, I will take the time out to work on the film properly.

I'm very tired now. Excessive drinking last night has left me tired. The hotel bar has now closed, and the lobby I'm sat in is very cold. So I bid you all a good night.

birthday preparations

So, last night I went out and saw the people I went riding with in Andorra. It was a good night but I didn't take any pictures at all! I was designated driver so I was on the orange henry's all night, but still managed to have a good dance with all the drunkards. We went out in Cheltenham, started off in the Slug & Lettuce, moved on to some vodka bar just down the street, then went on to be turned away from Thirteen for being too casual for a Saturday night, and ended up in Subtone, where we had a good old boogie!!

I hate the 'shirt and shoes' mentality of most places. If we were in some real expensive, classy and exclusive bar or club, then I think it's ok, but some shitty bar in Cheltenham, where the only shirts and shoes there are fred perry and hush puppies needs to grow up a bit. I fail to see how my casual appearance is somehow gonna bring their revenue down. Meh...it just bugs me.

Today is Domonic's birthday, so soon I'll be going to help Amanda set everything up ready. I took a few pics of the initial set up, but I can't post anything until after the event in case he sees it. It's gonna be good though!


See you again soon

Dave

let's catch up

So, this is my first blogger blog, and I guess I'll just bring you up to date with the past few months of my life, a summary, if you will, of my life so far in '07.

Actually, let's go back a little bit further to the end of '06.

I've been self-employed now since October '05, and doing ok with it, working almost entirely for a company called Snow Business. With them, I go to film and television sets, live events, premieres and all other kinds of setups, providing artificial snow. Visit their site on the link above to find out more about what they do. Anyway, in December of last year things went a little awry, and after a massive misunderstanding and rather unfortunate set of events it became obvious I'd have to start looking elsewhere for the majority of my work. I should really have been keeping my options open all the time, but an easy thing is a hard thing to break away from (for me anyway). I had a few weeks work with SB before it was really time to move on. Sad to do, after almost 13 years of loyal service. I hope things work out between us as I really enjoy the job, but I simply can't wait for that to maybe happen.

Another source of income is the work I do for Suscito. Suscito is a creative group based in Stroud which I helped to found along with a few other people. The big honcho is Domonic. It was his vision, and we are merely pawns in his poorly disguised attempt at world domination. We've worked on some interesting projects since we started, including a health spa promo vid and launch party, a 2D animation about a girl and her sparkling imagination, a Stargate SG-1 convention, and a few short films. Most famous of the short films is Captain Cowbell, which I created the digital effects for, as well as playing the lead role. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, but the actor we had arranged to work with had other paid work at the same time and we had arranged too much other stuff to simply wait. The character has raised a lot of money for charity too, after 10 of us adorned ourselves with beautiful udders and capes and ran the Cobalt Appeal Relay Marathon in April of last year, raising over £800 for the charity. We're running again this year on April 29th, so I'll post our results up when it's over.


Suscito is a great idea, and one which is working well. It's hard for us to operate in a full time capacity, but we're working on it. Visit the site and have a snoop about.



The work which upset things with me and SB was a production called Inkheart, which was filmed on location in Italy, and at Shepperton Studios in England. I'll hopefully be uploading some pics to my Picasa account soon, so look out for a link to all the pics in a future blog. The work was offered to me while I was working on 1408 at Pinewood Underwater stage. The special effects guys had built this huge gimble (a platform mounted on hydraulic rams) and the set builders had constructed the set on top. The set was a hotel suite, which was subjected to all sorts of trauma, before being submerged into the tank. It was a great film to work on, and the gimble set was amazing to see. The gimble had enough power to move 2 rooms full of water and crew about as if they weren't even there! They even had to slow it down some coz the set couldn't take the strain! Some pics below...you'll need 3D glasses for the funny blue and red one!


I'll post a blog about Italy another time. This blog is just to get you up to date.

I think that's pretty much things for now. Oh, I'm helping to organise a birthday event for Domonic, with his wife Amanda. It's this Sunday so I'll try to get some pictures up. Also, tomorrow night I'm going out in Cheltenham with the people I went on a recent snowboarding holiday to Andorra with, so I'll post some pics of that too. I wont be drinking, but they will so should be good!

See you again soon.

Dave


Thanks to _futurism for getting my blog brain switch activated!